Dear Readers,

     I have had a lot of mail lately from folks that say that others perceive them as to critical.

Because I don't know you personally, it makes it hard to determine if you are a critical person or not.  However, what's important here is not what your friends think of you, but what you think of yourself.  Critical people usually have a low opinion of themselves or think too highly of themselves.  They lack a sense of reality of who they really are.  Because critical people tend to be very controlling, they do well as managers in the work field where they can direct people and be in charge. However they tend to be perfectionist and are never satisfied with other people’s accomplishments.  Critical people rarely compliment others on their efforts, but pass judgment and give uninvited advice.

    Critical people can be very talented as well as stuck on themselves.  They feel they are always one step above everyone else.  They want the bigger house, the better car, and are very competitive.  In fact, for to many of them- life is one big competition. 

    In their defense they tend to be very giving, and are good listeners, but watch out, they are always ready to solve your problems with a better plan then the one you have.

    Recently I ran into just such a person, a very good friend of mine in fact.  I had just completed a graphic design for a customer on the Internet and showed it to him.  Right off the bat he was critical, pointing out what he felt was wrong with my design.  In fact, he never said one nice thing about my creation.  Today that kind of thing rolls off my back. 

    Now one would think that with that kind of friend who needs enemies, but in fact my friend and I are very close.  We accept each other just the way we are, because we are friends, and that's what friends do.

     I don't know if you’re a critical person, but we may want to listen to our own words when others share their successes or victories, their accomplishments and efforts.  Look for the good in others, and don't offer advice unless invited to do so.  Be an encourager and a defender of your friends and I'll bet they will see you in a different light.  Oh, and never try to "One Up" them like so many try to do in meetings. It's not nice, and it hurts friendships as well as discourages the newcomer.

    Bottom line......... Let's not worry about others seeing your best intentions.  Just give them the encouragement you would want from them and leave the advice in the dust.

Blessings and progress to all

    Monty "man"

Meditorial:

Today I will be sensitive to other peoples feelings and values.  I will strive to not intimidate anyone.  Instead I will make a concretive effort to discover the good in all people.  I will be slow to criticize and quick to encourage.  I will practice that age old adage "If I can't say anything nice, I won't say anything at all".