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 (212) 870-3400
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION
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HOW DARE YOU
CUT ME OFF!
“Please Limit your sharing
to 5 minutes so everyone has time to share.”
A common request at large meetings and most of us are obliged to follow those simple instructions. At times a well-meaning member may go over the time limit and the chairperson will interrupt by saying “Thank You for sharing” or something to that effect. But have you ever been cut off before the minutes were up? I have and to be honest I was not feeling very good about it. I watch the clock very closely when I share and on this one particular day the clock had hit the 4-minute mark. Just as I was wrapping it up three people spoke up at the same time to let me know my time was up. I felt like I had been cheated out of my time. Some folks who could not handle the truth about recovery had interrupted my share. I had applied everything to my own experience, strength and hope. It was even a political correct share. “How dare they do this to me” I told myself. I mean, after all my time was my time and what I had to say would have benefited all who listened if only I could have finished. I was even going to confront those stinking members with “My Right” to a five-minute share time. Eegads I was infuriated at best. I had built an incredibly large resentment in less than a minute.
OK,
what’s wrong with this picture? After 16 years of active membership
in 12 Step fellowships you would think that I would have reacted
differently but the fact is I still have character defects. Pride
and selfishness being two of the biggest and most.
Seeing
that I had already built the resentment what could I do about it
now? I went home from the meeting talking about the incident to my
friend who had ridden with me to the meeting. I went on and on
releasing all my anger and rage on the guy. He listened quietly and
when I was all done looked over at me and said. “I think there was
only a few minutes left and they wanted to get one more share in
before the meeting ended”. "But this was MY time" I said. And then
as quickly as I had said that I was stricken with conviction. Had I
been selfish? Had I been self-centered? Had I put my share second
and my limelight first. Who was I trying to impress? Was this a
habit? Perhaps I was beginning to ramble.
My
resentment began to fade while the gentle conviction of my Higher
Power nudged me back to healthy thinking.
Were
these fellow members out to get me? Did they wake up that morning
with the intention to hurt Montyman? Of course not. They were only
looking out for the best interest of the group. What was my part in
this? That was the real question I needed to ask myself. It was
time to call my sponsor and cop to my attitude. It was time to stop
blaming and start applying the Steps and Traditions. I had entered
the growth zone.
I was
given one of the most important opportunities a person could
receive. The opportunity for growth and another closer step towards
maturity. It was time to be grateful.
The
making of amends was done in a timely manner and was accepted with
love and encouragement. Today is a good day to be alive.
Blessings and Progress to
All.
Montyman
Meditation:
God, as I listen to your voice and experience your love I have come to
learn that no one can single me out without my approval.
I choose today not to receive the paranoia my addict / alcoholic nature would like me to. Today I know that if God is for me, no one can be against me. I also accept that what I may want to say may not be as important as what someone else may need to share in a meeting. I make a commitment to myself that when someone cuts me off during a time of sharing I will not take it personally but believe the best. That you know what your doing God, and that I am a vessel for your work. Ready to speak or not to speak as you may direct. © Recovery Times. All rights reserved. Recovery Times has but one purpose and goal, and that is to carry the message of 12-Step Recovery -- as written and practiced in its founding organization's (AA's) unaltered 12 Steps, 12 Traditions, and 12 Concepts for World Service, but not limited to only AA-sanctioned material (such as The Holy Bible, The Koran, The Upanishads, etc.). Recovery Times is not affiliated nor approved with or by any 12 Step organizations. Recovery Times publishes only each author's opinions or positions on all matters, and doesn't necessarily agree or disagree with anyone on anything. Our Principles and Protocols are expressed beautifully in the Prayer of St. Francis (p.99, 12-Steps and 12-Traditions). Site best viewed at 1024 x 768 with Internet Explorer
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